Nannagaru is our True Divine Mother

It is now a week since Nannagaru deeply entered my heart as the In dweller (Antaryamin).
It was an overwhelming experience, a most beautiful homecoming.

I knew that this initial supremely powerful experience had to get deepened and stabilized.

I have for 7 days been trying to use all my free time to deepen this process and sadhana, to be more and more open to His Grace, which I know is boundless.

I have been blessed with a good life in general: I have a wonderful job, I earn well, my health is much better now than when I was a teenager and in my twenties. In short, I can’t even feel any problems in my life. I have just so much Gratitude always to the Divine.

I agree with Nannagaru, that it only makes sense to ask God for God: for devotion, purity of heart and getting a large vessel in order to be capable of receiving His Total Grace.

For each passing day this week, I have felt that this inner love, peace and Heaven and Nirvana is getting deeper and deeper and easier to enter.

My favorite way to get this is to empty myself of myself and just being highly present in Nannagaru’s Presence, and this I usually do by looking Him into His compassionate eyes trying to connect with Him as consciousness and eternal love.

During this intense week, I have often even cried as I feel He loves me so much. And this has been reinforced by continuously reading and listening to His words, mainly the amazing book “Grace of Guru”. I have never read a more loving, compassionate and sweet book, and I am endlessly touched by Nannagaru’s mind-blowing generosity.

Many people have been kind and loving to me in my life, but I have never felt more loved or accepted by anyone like Nannagaru, no one can even come close. Not only His energies are the sweetest in the Universe, but His words too. I feel He is not only Father as Nanna means in Telugu, but often more like my true Mother – my physical as well as divine Mother.

When looking Him into the eyes, Grace literally explodes. He transports me into an eternal bliss and love that even surpasses what I thought Enlightenment to be. At times I try to have a living dialogue with Him, and sometimes I call him new names, the most common one is GI or EGI – Grace Itself / Eternal Grace Itself. In short, He blows my mind and I am just left speechless.

So every day the inner fullness of Heaven and Nirvana has become deeper and deeper and more and more stable, except yesterday afternoon. During this week, I have been suggesting Him to speed up the cleansing of my tendencies (vasanas) and to rapidly cleanse anything impure in my consciousness. It would be strange if He just made the bliss, peace and love grow endlessly without any kind of challenges.

Anyway, today has been a totally new state. It is as if I hardly have to look Him into His eyes to get the deep presence of Nannagaru, the presence that I felt for the first time when I had His darshan for an hour and the following day when He looked me into my eyes for 20 minutes back in in 1990. Whenever I have been closing my eyes today, He is there completely alive inside of me giving me His darshan and looking me into my eyes and thus FILLING me with His Eternity, Nirvana and Mukti.

One thing that actually helped me a lot, was to connect with His openhearted devotees. I spoke to couple of devotees 5 days ago. After a few minutes of speaking with them, I felt my heart opening up in a deeper way when they spoke about things connected to Nannagaru.

This opening of the heart got really intensified when I watched a 2 hrs long video, where Dr Usha garu shared the amazing Grace as well as the friendship she has gotten almost her entire life from Nannagaru. Her openness and spontaneous joy and sincerity is something new to me. I don’t remember having seen that in spiritual people before, and this touched me a lot. I thought only small children and cute pics of cats etc. on Facebook could be so sweet and cute in heart as she is, but not adults and especially not so-called spiritual seekers, who can be so serious and far from being wonderfully alive and radiating. How special her Sadguru must be, to have produced such a diamond, I felt. So I can really recommend anyone to attend a Satsang, to connect with devotees’ experience of His Grace, transformation and teachings.

In the Bible, it is said that God created the Universe in one week. A week ago, I invited Nannagaru to recreate me in a week, which He has done. I was already feeling very happy and filled with divine presence for 16 years. I felt so blessed and thought that God already had given me Heaven within.

I love perfection and human potential is my hobby and passion. I adore Masters like Vivekananda who inspire us to be immensely Brave and unstoppable. Nannagaru has intensified my already inner “divine state” manifold, which I previously thought was almost impossible. For many years, I have been feeling rich, like having 100 heavenly diamonds in my heart. Nannagaru is an effective multiplier of inner wealth, and now I feel more like having several thousands of inner divine diamonds. In 7 days, I have gotten thousands of percent increase in inner growth and divine presence: this I thought would be possible only after 7 or maybe even 77 years of intense sadhana.

My deep wish is that I will not be the only Westerner to discover how one can get mindblowingly enriched by the endless possibilities of what Nannagaru has to offer. Logically, soon hundreds of millions of people will get something similar from Nannagaru, as His path is so easy and accessible.

I want to conclude by expressing my boundless and deeply heartfelt gratitude to all devotees who have made His website available with all these amazing books, articles, pictures etc. And all for free.

A special thanks to Dr Usha garu, whose pure-heartedness and sincerity has made my faith and wings grow very strong. She is such a rare person, and I am thrilled that someone like her is there to guide people when Nannagaru has left his physical body.

I was immensely sad when, 29,5 years ago, I was not allowed to come and stay forever with Nannagaru and to get to know Him, speak to Him, eat with Him, joke with Him, like many of you Andraites have been immensely lucky to do.

But as Nannagaru and Ramana say, there is destiny (prarabda karma) that we cannot avoid. Maybe Nannagaru was supposed to be my Dakshinamurty and Aruchachala Guru, teaching me in Silence. In fact, I have met Nannagaru physically twice, and not even once has He said Hi or Hello to me, or even Namaste. He only taught me in silence, showed me Nirvana, Heaven and Mukti. And as an exception to His silence towards me, he actually spoke 11 words to me, that were far from causal or just polite greeting phrases – they were the most important words ever in my life, more precious than all the Holy books in all the worlds (lokas) changing my life forever: that Ramana told Him that I will get jeevanmukti in this lifetime.

Nannagaru keeps His word, he is the greatest gentleman I ever heard of, the kindest of parents ever. And now, as a result of meditating with Him every free minute for one week, He keeps giving me His darshan in my heart ANY time I want. What greater gift can one ever receive than this?

Freddy Nielsen,
June 27, 2020
Stockholm, Sweden

"He took my breath away" - (By Freddy Nielsen)

He took my breath away …

It was back in November 1990, I was 23 then, and it seems like an eternity ago.

October 4, 1990, I came to Ramanashram, intending to stay there my entire life, as a sanyasin if needed. For more than 10 years, I had been having a lot of inner existential suffering, and I was immensely attracted to Ramana Maharshi, who I found out through Paul Brunton’s books in my library in my town that was as big as Jinnuru (8000 inhabitants). I told him mentally, that if Ramana would give me mukti, I would even be prepared to be killed in an accident the very next second.

After a few weeks of living in Ramanashram, I got so disappointed and immensely sad. Before coming there, I had read some 30-40 books about Ramana that I had ordered from the Ashram. I lived on raw vegan food in a simple “house” without electricity or water in the forest in Sweden as a vanaprastha (forest dweller) meditating, praying and studying Ramana’s teachings and doing everything and anything in order to get Jeevanmukti (enlightenment). During the weekends I worked at an old age home to get money.

So I somehow had the idea that almost everyone at Ramanashram would be radiating with joy and be either enlightened or half way there. When I realized that this was not the case for the majority, my life totally collapsed and I was even prepared to commit suicide because Ramanshram was my last hope in an unkind and uncompassionate world that I never felt I belonged to.

I had read that Ramana had said that ANY sincere prayer done at and to Arunachala is sure to be answered. I prayed almost nonstop and in desperation and cried for some 3 days and hardly even sleeping. I was begging to Arunachala on my bare knees for complete enlightenment, or at least a way to get it within reasonable time, such as within a few years. Preferably also by giving me a living Satguru, which for me would be a totally enlightened sincere and loving Master, similar to Ramana.

A few days after this I ran into a man , Dr Rama Rao, at the Ashram who asked me if I would like to get Darshan by his divine realized Master NANNAGARU, who at that time “happened” to be visiting Ramanashram along with hundreds of devotees. I was not sure as Dr Rama Rao did not have an appearance or personality that I automatically trust. I said “Yes” mostly out of curiosity, having almost no expectations. The darshan was to be at 7 pm that very day.

At sunset I went to the meditation hall in the Ashram where a dozen of people sat immersed in meditation. When I focused upon whether to go and have darshan of Nannagaru or not and whether Ramana would approve of it or not, I immediately got an experience I never ever had before, not even close to it. I could feel the kundalini slowly but steadily rising from my tailbone and up with a steady, peaceful wave that simultaneously was mighty like a huge unstoppable waterfall. This kundalini gave rise to immense energy explosions in each of the chakras, especially in the second one, in a highly physical and palpable way. It was IMPOSSIBLE not to believe this more-than-clear sign.

It was not easy to walk the 100 meters to the darshan hut in the midst of such an energy explosion and ecstasy. When I reached the small hut there were some 5 people only, and I immediately felt an ENORMOUS presence. I felt my body soon becoming heavy as if weighing tens of thousands of kilograms, or rather tons. The peace from Nannagaru made me turn into a heavy mountain. My mind got totally blank and I felt for the first time ever, that I have gotten a real taste of what true enlightenment feels like.
The next day Nannagaru was going to leave Ramanashram and go back to Jinnuru town. I got the address from the kind Dr Rama Rao and I had accepted Nannagaru as my Satguru, whom I considered being an embodiment of Ramana Maharshi himself.

I was a bit confused though, as Nannagaru was a householder and not like Ramana who had an Ashram where I could study, live and meditate with him as a disciple. Dr Rama Rao asked me to come to say goodbye to Nannagaru the following morning. What happened there gave me the surprise of my life.

I saw hundreds of devotees all waiting for Nannagaru’s loving attention, a short glance or a loving word. Nannagaru came straight to me and looked me intensely into my eyes for a timeless period where He transported me into Eternity. Later I found out that He looked me in the eyes for 20 minutes. I will not even try to describe how this heavenly Heaven felt like, as He for some time took me into timelessness and never-ending bliss & peace.

After having looked me in the eyes non-stop for 20 minutes, Nannagaru went to Ramana’s Samadhi to say goodbye or talk to Ramana. After some 10 minutes Nannagaru came back and He went straight to me again and said the following 11 words that ever since have been etched into my heart: “Ramana told me, that you will get jeevanmukti in this lifetime.”
I was confused and sad that He had left, as I was immensely hungry to get His direct teachings & instructions. There was not even a book in English about Nannagaru, I found out. The weeks that followed I tried to be in deep meditation and connect with my new Master through form and mantra most of my waking hours.

The following day I got a high fever lasting for 4-5 days, and I had to go to the hospital for tablets. I took this cleansing and fever in deep gratitude being a sign that His energy had cleansed my chakras, energies and vasanas etc.

After the fever had gone, I went at lunch time to eat at the Ashram’s dining hall. All of a sudden, I felt no need to breathe. I just walked and walked and it felt so natural NOT to breathe. For 10 minutes I did not even feel the need for air, and I would be deeply surprised if I were ever to breathe again. What a liberation to be able to live without air! I thanked Nannagaru internally for this liberation. When suddenly my breath returned, I got surprised. This spontaneous long period of non-breathing has never repeated itself, but I will carry this experience with me for life. Sometimes I have measured how long I can keep the breath, and I have never been able to keep it more than 1,5 minute.

One day I had to make a very very important decision, and I decided to not go for a meeting. Suddenly I got an experience that has never repeated. It was voice from Heaven, where the entire Universe commanded me: “Go there NOW!” The voice lasted for 3-4 seconds, and it was such a shock to me that I did not even have the time to check if the voice was coming from Everywhere or if it was a hallucination. I regretted not being awake enough to check its’ authenticity. Anyway, I decided it simply can’t be that God Almighty Himself spoke to a young confused guy like me, so I went home. Only classical prophets like Moses can hear God’s direct Voice from Heaven. After having taken a few steps, the Heavenly Voice repeated thunderlike: “Go NOW, RUN!!!” It turned out to be a destiny changing meeting.

Since some years, I have more and more felt a special connection to Jesus and Mother Mary, especially when Mother Mary some years filled my with a new divine presence, when a student of mine gave me an icon of her, and as it was in a parcel, I thought this gift was a book. And before opening the gift, a pure divine Light and presence filled me ever since, and when looking into her eyes, I always feel a living presence of angels and sometimes even of the Divine source.

For a few weeks now, I have felt a natural urge to understand Ramana’s teachings and maybe even return to Ramanshram to give it one more chance. For a month or so, I have felt the need to listen to so many satsangs of so-called enlightened Westerners, and audio books on other popular Advaita teachers from Ramana’s lineage, such as Nisargadatta Maharaj and Poonjaji.

3 years ago, 6 months before Nannagaru left His physical body, I got an urge to see if it was time for me to come back. I was close to decide, but probably I was not totally ready. I like to things 100%, so I only wanted to go if inspired by an unstoppable force.

Yesterday morning however, I suddenly felt a DEEP urge and intuition and call to check up Nannagaru and to go and visit Him in Jinnuru and continue with him where I left off 29 years ago. There was of course a big difference in my inner state now and from 1990.

For 16 years I feel some kind of divine union and when people have been asking me if I was enlightened, I did not know what to answer, because on the one hand suffering and the feeling of separation was sort of gone. But I always said NO, when people asked me. But inside my heart, I was in fact not sure. For 16 years, I have at least had a highly transformed state, a state that has many of the qualities that I was seeking so desperately in 1990 and even since I was 16.

So when I searched for how and where to find Nannagaru, I was so sad as well as shocked to see that He had already passed away 2.5 years ago. He passed away at Dec. 29, which happens to be the birthday of my first “guru”, which was my older brother who convinced me to read the novel “Siddhartha” by Herman Hesse and this kind brother of mine also understood me like no one else did when I grew up.

Anyway, I was thrilled to see that nowadays there were books and material about Nannagaru in English. I tried to connect with Nannagaru through His picture, and I was pleasantly surprised when I immediately felt that He was AS ALIVE as when I got His darshan in 1990 and when he looked me in the eyes for 20 minutes. In less than a second, my Satguru was back and immediately my inner “fullness” became so much Fuller.

I was also immensely moved to rediscover that Nannagaru’s teaching are the closest to my heart among all teachings I have read so far. He feels like Ramana’s own gentle son, who is closer to me and explains in a way that is a bit easier for me to relate to and understand. Yesterday evening I was immensely delighted to absorb all those amazingly amazing and sweet words by Nannagaru’s writings.

This morning (June 21, 2020) I woke up with a heavenly electrified feeling all over the body.

When I meditated on Nannagaru’s picture alternating it with His picture together with Ramana’s, I got something new. Inside my heart for the entire day, I have felt the living eternally peaceful and blissful presence of Arunachala, Ramana & Nannagaru. I feel the indescribable PEACEFUL heaviness of being a heavy mountain in my heart, the same as I felt during my first darshan with Nannagaru 1990.

I am so surprised at how immediate Nannagaru reacts and how limitless His kindness, power and Grace is. 29.5 years ago, He gave me the biggest gift anyone ever could give me: His 11 words of guaranteed liberation, and this is the same as actual Liberation for me.

Yesterday morning I was so happy to finally be able to come back to meet my Sadguru in person, at least after this Corona close down was over. I was so sad I could no more come and express my eternal gratitude to Him, and also ask for forgiveness for a “mistake” that I unknowingly made many years ago. When reading Nannagaru’s amazing articles today, His wise and compassionate words removed this age-long guilt from me.

Every time I look into His compassionate eyes, I get flooded by limitless Grace. I feel so much Healing have occurred in these 24 hrs, that it is a Complete Miracle.

I don’t know if I shall just focus on His Grace cleansing out the remaining vasanas and limiting energy in me, or if I shall try to be active in thinking about how to be able to spread the amazing possibilities of His limitless Grace. No words in the world suffices to express my Gratitude for the Grace He gave me 29.5 years ago and the last 24 hrs.

Conclusion:
For those who doubt, I can say one thing for sure:
Nannagaru is as living today, as when He was in the body and giving me the highest spiritual experiences and Grace of my life.

Freddy Nielsen, 53 years old, language teacher, Stockholm, Sweden.